Also, I just want to say that this Substack is excellent. I love the analysis and storytelling re: our generation. It is so well done - and not an easy thing to do, to weave together various cultural elements into a coherent and accurate analysis a la Klosterman. Few can do it well. But this has been spot-on across all posts, and with some good humour and nostalgia to boot
At my 13 year-old son’s request, I was making him Spotify playlists of the “top songs” of the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. For my own benefit, I kept going to the 90’s and beyond. I noted then the increasingly dark progression in mainstream music over this period. When I hit the 90’s I too was struck by the abrupt shift to bleak and “angsty” subject matter and tone of much of that era’s music.
I also proudly wear a t-shirt that proclaims us GenXers as “raised on hose water and neglect”. It rings differently now.
What's interesting is that hair metal -- which was exceedingly self-destructive on the face of it -- was very fun music, and most of the big-haired heroes of the era all turned out more or less ok.
Hair Metal is all about rebelling and having a good time. Grunge is diametrically opposed to that - rebelling, yes, but in a self-destructive manner. Guns and Roses straddled the divide but when the epicentre of the "popular" rock of the day shifted to rainy Seattle things took a much darker turn. I revisited Alice in Chains "Dirt" recently and didn't get to the end. Their biggest hits have an undeniable groove but, man, the lyrics are thoroughly depressing.
We xers had really no adult supervision. Showing emotion like depression and anxiety was seen as week so we turned to activities and habits to deal with everything. Now as I'm older knowing I have issues that need dealing with, I still very weary to go and see someone. From the time grade school and into adulthood I've seen so many of my friends getting shot and dying. As an adult I tried making things right by being a medic. Seeing all the deaths, gsw, and much more I have been diagnosed with ptsd. I've came close to checking out, but can't do that to my son.
Meth damn near wiped out my entire friend group. I also get you on talking to a therapist. I know I need to talk to one because it will help, but I'm petrified of what letting that all out is going to do or feel like. I feel like if I open the flood gates I'll never stop.
Don't check out mate. Not just because your son, but for you. We're damaged, but I don't think we all understand just how gawd damm strong we really are. I see it in my daily life. I see guys in their 20s get little cuts and they're running for a bandaid acting like they cut their finger off. Same thing I saw adults do when I was a kid. I never run for a bandaid. I bet you don't either. We are emotionally broken, but on the outside there isn't much that can harm us. Is it a good trade off? Probably not, but we made it through all that we won't through mostly on our own to our middle-ages and we deserve to live. Don't give up now brother.
hmm. I thought I read in Jean Twenge's Generations that GenX teen suicides were twice the rate of Boomers, but that their mental health stabilised as they got older and now GenX has better mental health than the Boomers
We was raised by Vietnam vets with ptsd with stay at home mom's that had to start working to afford to live or we was raised by hippies. Some of us a combination of both Vet and Hippie. We drank, drugged, and fought each other because nobody was watching. Most of us lost friends and family to one of these things before we graduated high school. When I reached adulthood I began to understand just how different we were and I have always felt out of place unless I'm around other people that grew up in the 70s or 80s. I still feel like I don't fit in especially being right on the line of what they call Xennial being born in 76, but it's so fun for me to show the younger ones the Rambo power wheel, and RoboCop toys and cartoons. Isn't it crazy that we had toys from violet rated R movies? Those things explain us and it's awful, but I'm also proud I am a GenX.
As a very early Gen X, and the only child of a single mom, my childhood was steeped in isolation. Until I recently started listening to Reels by genXers, I didn't know it wasn't just me [typical I suppose!] I struggled with depression and anxiety for decades. This post is informative, sad, and oddly comforting.
I think attitudes around how kids would handle divorce were different as well -- so was it the effect of the divorces, or the effect of the divorces and the (relative) lack of concern about the kids' well-being at the time -- an assumption that since it was such a common event, was something they could just roll with.
Well if you drill down into the study, the aggravating factor doesn't seem to be divorce per se, but divorced women. That is, suicide rates track the number of divorced women in a given area. Which is another way, I think, of saying that the big problem is absentee fathers.
Interesting read Andrew, I was not aware. I do not miss my big hair! 😝 Cool to see that you are a fellow Canadian too! I had missed that fact! Thanks for the content!
Another very strong post Andrew. I can't help but wonder, in addition to all you say in here regarding correlation with divorce, if part of it might be that "latchkey" independence just landed differently for some people. Many of us take it as a badge of honour that we "just got on with it and figured it out" with self-baked Snackin' Cakes and Hogan's Heroes reruns to keep us company. But for many, you now have me wondering, that may simply have not been enough on a very deep level. Very thought provoking piece. Thank you.
“We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.”
I was listening to my play list on my music app and it contains a fair amount of 90's grunge, given that I am a gen x. And I was thinking...'wow. This music is very angsty and sad and depressing.' And back in the day and even today I still love it. And also that as I'm listening I'm thinking and he's dead and he's dead and he's dead. And then boom, nevermind has this post. Creepy.
Also, I just want to say that this Substack is excellent. I love the analysis and storytelling re: our generation. It is so well done - and not an easy thing to do, to weave together various cultural elements into a coherent and accurate analysis a la Klosterman. Few can do it well. But this has been spot-on across all posts, and with some good humour and nostalgia to boot
At my 13 year-old son’s request, I was making him Spotify playlists of the “top songs” of the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. For my own benefit, I kept going to the 90’s and beyond. I noted then the increasingly dark progression in mainstream music over this period. When I hit the 90’s I too was struck by the abrupt shift to bleak and “angsty” subject matter and tone of much of that era’s music.
I also proudly wear a t-shirt that proclaims us GenXers as “raised on hose water and neglect”. It rings differently now.
Great read.
What's interesting is that hair metal -- which was exceedingly self-destructive on the face of it -- was very fun music, and most of the big-haired heroes of the era all turned out more or less ok.
Right? Dee Snyder happily taking it these days.
Is that because they actually lived up to their expectations of wealth accumulation, fame and sexual conquest?
Ha could be.
Hair Metal is all about rebelling and having a good time. Grunge is diametrically opposed to that - rebelling, yes, but in a self-destructive manner. Guns and Roses straddled the divide but when the epicentre of the "popular" rock of the day shifted to rainy Seattle things took a much darker turn. I revisited Alice in Chains "Dirt" recently and didn't get to the end. Their biggest hits have an undeniable groove but, man, the lyrics are thoroughly depressing.
Hair metal had no illusions. Its whole objective was selling out so maybe that is why its creators suffered less internal conflict.
I would argue that hair metal was more late Boomer/early Gen X.
So interesting. Important to look at this with open eyes.
We xers had really no adult supervision. Showing emotion like depression and anxiety was seen as week so we turned to activities and habits to deal with everything. Now as I'm older knowing I have issues that need dealing with, I still very weary to go and see someone. From the time grade school and into adulthood I've seen so many of my friends getting shot and dying. As an adult I tried making things right by being a medic. Seeing all the deaths, gsw, and much more I have been diagnosed with ptsd. I've came close to checking out, but can't do that to my son.
Meth damn near wiped out my entire friend group. I also get you on talking to a therapist. I know I need to talk to one because it will help, but I'm petrified of what letting that all out is going to do or feel like. I feel like if I open the flood gates I'll never stop.
Don't check out mate. Not just because your son, but for you. We're damaged, but I don't think we all understand just how gawd damm strong we really are. I see it in my daily life. I see guys in their 20s get little cuts and they're running for a bandaid acting like they cut their finger off. Same thing I saw adults do when I was a kid. I never run for a bandaid. I bet you don't either. We are emotionally broken, but on the outside there isn't much that can harm us. Is it a good trade off? Probably not, but we made it through all that we won't through mostly on our own to our middle-ages and we deserve to live. Don't give up now brother.
hmm. I thought I read in Jean Twenge's Generations that GenX teen suicides were twice the rate of Boomers, but that their mental health stabilised as they got older and now GenX has better mental health than the Boomers
I will check that out. Thank you.
We was raised by Vietnam vets with ptsd with stay at home mom's that had to start working to afford to live or we was raised by hippies. Some of us a combination of both Vet and Hippie. We drank, drugged, and fought each other because nobody was watching. Most of us lost friends and family to one of these things before we graduated high school. When I reached adulthood I began to understand just how different we were and I have always felt out of place unless I'm around other people that grew up in the 70s or 80s. I still feel like I don't fit in especially being right on the line of what they call Xennial being born in 76, but it's so fun for me to show the younger ones the Rambo power wheel, and RoboCop toys and cartoons. Isn't it crazy that we had toys from violet rated R movies? Those things explain us and it's awful, but I'm also proud I am a GenX.
As a very early Gen X, and the only child of a single mom, my childhood was steeped in isolation. Until I recently started listening to Reels by genXers, I didn't know it wasn't just me [typical I suppose!] I struggled with depression and anxiety for decades. This post is informative, sad, and oddly comforting.
I think attitudes around how kids would handle divorce were different as well -- so was it the effect of the divorces, or the effect of the divorces and the (relative) lack of concern about the kids' well-being at the time -- an assumption that since it was such a common event, was something they could just roll with.
Well if you drill down into the study, the aggravating factor doesn't seem to be divorce per se, but divorced women. That is, suicide rates track the number of divorced women in a given area. Which is another way, I think, of saying that the big problem is absentee fathers.
Interesting read Andrew, I was not aware. I do not miss my big hair! 😝 Cool to see that you are a fellow Canadian too! I had missed that fact! Thanks for the content!
Another very strong post Andrew. I can't help but wonder, in addition to all you say in here regarding correlation with divorce, if part of it might be that "latchkey" independence just landed differently for some people. Many of us take it as a badge of honour that we "just got on with it and figured it out" with self-baked Snackin' Cakes and Hogan's Heroes reruns to keep us company. But for many, you now have me wondering, that may simply have not been enough on a very deep level. Very thought provoking piece. Thank you.
“We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
I was listening to my play list on my music app and it contains a fair amount of 90's grunge, given that I am a gen x. And I was thinking...'wow. This music is very angsty and sad and depressing.' And back in the day and even today I still love it. And also that as I'm listening I'm thinking and he's dead and he's dead and he's dead. And then boom, nevermind has this post. Creepy.
That is pretty weird! But it really is amazingly sad how many of them are gone.
This is fascinating and intriguing.